Second child yes or no? A somewhat "different" view

Zweites Kind ja oder nein ? Eine erweiterte Betrachtung. Our main concern here in the Kleine Prints stories is to entertain you well and to present you with helpful and interesting information about the photo-loving life with children. The many emotionally charged topics that parents get excited about here and there (also online) and, unfortunately, sometimes also form fronts against each other, are actually not our thing. But now a reader has specifically approached us and suggested that we look at the topic "Second child, yes or no?" employ. We are of course very happy that our blog articles are so much appreciated that we explicitly receive topic requests. So today we like to move into "deeper" themed waters for you, which we would probably not necessarily cross by ourselves. (You can already see that the maritime is simply impossible to get out of us ...) So let's get started:

We love openness, but ...

First of all, it is important for us to emphasize that the question about the second child is actually not one that we can answer universally. Nobody can do that. It is a very personal question that every couple can answer for themselves. What strikes us, however, is that maintaining the privacy of others when dealing with such very personal questions in life does not seem to be particularly important to some people. Kleine Prints not only stands for high-quality, sneezy photo gifts for your little rascals. No, behind the scenes we are a largely women-based team that is linked, among other things, by shared values. In our joint work, we make sure to communicate openly and at eye level, to say what fits and is great and where there is still potential for optimization, to ask questions where there is uncertainty ... openness. An important value. And yet there are simply areas of life and situations in which it is appropriate not to ask quite so openly and to set aside one's curiosity a little. That brings us back to the topic of today's article. Because, in our opinion, a little (more) restraint is appropriate when it comes to the issue of having children or family planning.

And when will the offspring / second child come? Do you want a third one or is it over now?

Our team consists of both non-mums and mums, in an age range between late 20s and late 30. We all have different backgrounds and different life plans. And yet there is a lot that connects us. For example, the fact that EVERYONE of us has been asked stupid questions about our personal desire to have children. As soon as the non-mom is past the third date with the current dream man, the following applies apparently for not so few people: question-fire! It gets even more extreme when you are so "crazy" and get married. Then there seems to be no stopping and the question of the offspring comes up so often that at some point you don't really get upset about it, you just roll your eyes. Zweites Kind ja oder nein ? Eine erweiterte Betrachtung.Zweites Kind ja oder nein ? Eine erweiterte Betrachtung. It is usually no better for mothers with one child. As soon as you are weaned, you start again: "And, do you want a second one?" Or even better: "WHEN is the second coming?" After child number 2, the questions turn out in different directions, depending on the attitude of the questioner. Either it continues with "When is number 3 coming?" or you hear: "Now you don't want any more, do you?"

Why a taboo makes sense sometimes

Sometimes silence is really golden and we think we should all avoid the questions outlined above. On the one hand, family planning for a couple is just something totally private and we will all find out in good time if there is something to announce. Maybe you just don't want to have a child / second child? On the other hand, and this is the much more important point for us, we can never know what is going on behind the scenes with the couple that we would so eagerly like to ask. Maybe there was a miscarriage, maybe they can't have another child. Maybe one of them is struggling with depression or something. Perhaps there is a wish for another child, but it just doesn't work - for whatever reason. With thoughtless questions, you can sometimes hit really deep wounds. Zweites Kind ja oder nein ? Eine erweiterte Betrachtung.Zweites Kind ja oder nein ? Eine erweiterte Betrachtung. Therefore, in our opinion, questions about family planning are certainly okay with very close friends, but certainly not among acquaintances or with the other Day care center-Mommy, with whom you chat every now and then when you pick it up. In the best case scenario, tact and empathy should prevail over (understandable, we all know) curiosity! Incidentally, it is no coincidence that this article appears shortly before Mother's Day. Because what we sincerely wish all mothers, as well as all non-mothers, is that they can shape their lives freely and independently, without anyone constantly knowing anything better and without personal decisions becoming a topic of discussion without being asked. Just like the question of the (next) child, for example.

Now comes to the point: sibling yes or no?

So, now we come briefly to our dear reader's initial question: What speaks for a sibling and what against it? As I said, each couple can answer this question for themselves. And probably one should always listen a little more to the heart than to the head. But instead of a boring pro / con list, we can contribute something else to this topic from our own experience. Because many parents seem to be afraid that they will withhold something important from their child if they no longer have a sibling. We consider this fear to be completely unfounded. Because: Of course, as a parent of an only child, you sometimes think about the fact that the child will grow up without siblings. And clearly one wonders how it will be later for the little sunshine, whether he / she will be missing something. These thoughts are probably just normal, at least for many only-child parents. But we think that a fulfilled social life and life satisfaction of a person guaranteed not depend on whether he / she grew up with siblings or not. We think that it is first and foremost important to grow up with a lot of love and to develop trust in yourself and others. As parents, we can show our children how to connect with a wide variety of people and build warm relationships, regardless of whether you share any genes or not. Even without biological siblings, you can have wonderful people in your life who feel like sisters or brothers. Zweites Kind ja oder nein ? Eine erweiterte Betrachtung. And vice versa, even if you have siblings, that doesn't necessarily mean that you are close to them or that you are really there for each other when the going gets tough. Anyone who has siblings knows both the beautiful and the difficult moments. Sibling relationships can sometimes be very difficult and the saying goes: "Friends are the family you choose yourself." From the "pragmatic" point of view as parents, there are certainly many reasons that speak for or against a sibling. As always with Kleine Prints, we can only say: Let your heart go first and the rest will fall into place. Because what was decided out of love can't be sooo wrong.

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Image Sources: 1 to 6 - Paul Hanaoka via unsplash.com

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